Nigntmare clients. I didn’t sign up for that when I decided to be a creative freelancer. But I guess it comes with the job.

In realtime, clients can make me cry. In retrospect – they make me cry with laugher.

ClientsFromHell is a super-duper-funny website that is curating stories about… well you guessed it – about clients from hell.

We asked their permission, and they loved that idea – that we will share here some of the funniest client stories we’ve found there. You gonna love it, trust me.

Free or what?

After sending two invoices for payment, I sent another and called the client when the receipt that they had received it came back. 

CLIENT: Why are you calling me? 

ME: You haven’t paid and this is the third invoice I’ve sent. 

CLIENT: It’s even more than the last one!

ME: Yes. The contract you signed stated that I would add a late fee for payment. 

CLIENT: You mean I have to actually pay you? I thought you were joking!

ME: What on earth made you think that? 

CLIENT: You’re a freelancer!

ME: And…

CLIENT: Well, you work for free! If you were supposed to be paid, you’d be called a paidlancer or something!

 

The client is always right

CLIENT: I’m not too sure about the blue…

ME: Actually, that’s green.

CLIENT: Who’s the client?

ME: You.

CLIENT: And what color is it?

ME: …blue?

CLIENT: Right. Now let me see what other shades of blue we have.

We settled on pine-tree ”blue.”

Acrylic Font

Client: Can we change the heading font to more acrylic?

Me: Sorry?

Client: Can we change it to more of an acrylic style font? You know, like slantways.

Me: Oh, you mean italic? 

Client: No, I think its acrylic, please don’t correct me again. The slanty-‘i’ in word, you know. For acrylic.

 

The sound of racism

CLIENT: “I don’t mean to sound racist, but…”

ME: “But what?”

CLIENT: “But the site is too black.”

ME: “Like, literally too black?”

CLIENT: “Yes. The background is too black.”

ME: “That’s not racist. That has nothing to do with race.” 

CLIENT: “Phew. I can never tell with you black people, what’s offensive and what’s not.”

ME: “I’m actually Lebanese. And, yeah, that one might be a bit racist.”

 

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Head to the Clients From Hell website for more stories that will make you cry with laughter.